


Can We Pretend That We're In Love?

by bluemoongirl99



Series: Is There Somewhere [1]
Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Recreational Drug Use, this is sad and im sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 21:44:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5514431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemoongirl99/pseuds/bluemoongirl99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the Halsey song, "Is There Somewhere?" </p><p>A flash of something crossed over Gerard’s eyes. But as soon as it was there, it was gone. He wanted to get lost in the fields of green and never come back. But, Frank assured himself, it was mostly just the alcohol talking, and he let it go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can We Pretend That We're In Love?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [calrissian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/calrissian/gifts).



> As said in the summary, this is based off of the song "Is There Somewhere" by Halsey. It is a really, really great song. I highly suggest that you listen to it while reading this, it definitely fits the story and tone of this fic. Also Fangoria's fic, "we can make out in your car, whatever" inspired me to format it this way, and approach a story from this angle. Please check out her fic, it actually has a happy ending because she's not evil.

**_One_ **

 

“I’m just warning you, Gerard’s a little, out there,” Mikey stumbled. For the first time in their brief friendship, Mikey’s blank façade was being smothered by one of worry. 

“Dude, I’m friends with you,” Frank assured. 

That was before he met him. 

When the basement door flung open, it might as well have been floodgates. Frank had never seen someone so beautiful in his life. He was only wearing sweats and had a cancer stick dangling from his mouth. 

He glanced up at Mikey, and his friend before giving them both a grin.

 

_**Two** _

 

“You know this is right where it begins?” Gerard drawled. His breath was hot against Frank’s neck. 

Frank gulped heavily, and stared at the wide array of alcoholic drinks that were now readily available to him. He grabbed onto one, and let it slide down his throat. It burned, but in a way that made all of his insides warm. 

“You’re a dork,” Frank said steadily, wiping his mouth, already enjoying the way the numbness was clouding his senses. All he wanted was to be numb. 

A flash of something crossed over Gerard’s eyes. But as soon as it was there, it was gone. He wanted to get lost in the fields of green and never come back. But, Frank assured himself, it was mostly just the alcohol talking, and he let it go. 

 

_**Three** _

 

This time it was different.  

The party was winding down. Mikey had long disappeared, probably to fuck who even knows in one of the dirty bathrooms. Though most of the guests were relaxing, Frank felt electric. His skin was suddenly too constricting, and he had to all but refrain himself from crawling out of it. 

His gaze was directed up at the sky; admiring the stars. He felt small, in a way that made his veins feel like ice, and his stomach sick. He wanted to die more than ever that night, he realized. 

He laid on the grass, and closed his eyes. His chest was tight, along with his throat. His head was a swarm of black and blue all fighting to somehow take over. He couldn’t breathe, and wondered if it would be so bad if suddenly he stopped. 

“Whatcha doin’ out here?” He heard Gerard’s voice call from behind him. 

He didn’t respond. 

Gerard laid down onto the grass next to him. “The stars are beautiful tonight.” 

_ Not as beautiful as you. _ Frank bit his tongue. The thought of his skin shrinking around his body came back to him as his mind started spinning. “They make me feel small,” he dared to whisper, allowing his words to drip out slowly, like molasses rolling off his tongue. “We’re all so...small.” 

Gerard shifted next to him. “I don’t think you’re small.”

He climbed on top of him, and Frank closed his eyes as his breath hitched. “I want to die,” he spoke suddenly.

Even though Frank couldn’t see it, Gerard smiled sadly at him. “I know,” he responded simply, before bringing his mouth down.

 

_**Four** _

 

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Gerard said angrily. His hair was mussed up in all sorts of directions, and he didn’t even seem embarrassed that he appeared completely sexed out. 

Frank stared at him, while clenching his fists, “Nothing,” he bit out, hating the the wetness he felt building behind his eyes. “Absolutely nothing, because evidently that’s all I mean to you.” 

 

_**Five** _

 

The lights were swirling around his vision like some kind of trippy kaleidoscope. The alcohol and other drugs were running through his blood like a poison. A wondrous, addictive poison. 

His head was resting lazily against the faux brick wall as he watched the crowd in front of him. Smoke clouded the majority of his brain functions, but he didn’t mind. It made everything smoother, and slower in a way you could never get things to be while sober. 

He felt him before he saw him, and a figure was suddenly leaning against the wall next to him. Anyone could’ve identified him with his bright red hair, and crooked grin. 

They stood in silence for a good few minutes before striking up something reminiscent of small talk. It had been six months since the fight that had sent Frank spiraling. 

Gerard laughed loudly at something Frank had said about the girl with clearly drawn on eyebrows from across the room. Frank managed to turn his head and was struck once again at how beautiful he was. 

Then it smacked him like a freight train barreling at full force. He was in love with him. He was so fucking in love with him it hurt more than Frank had ever hurt before. The lights were dancing playfully off of Gerard’s pale skin, and they looked like an invitation for his mouth. 

Frank leaned in before he knew what he was doing. Their lips crashed together in a mess of teeth and tongue. It was needy, and nothing short of chaotic, but Frank had never wanted someone in the way he wanted Gerard. 

They pulled away, panting into each other’s sweaty skin. Frank grabbed onto Gerard’s collar haphazardly, as if he was afraid that he would disappear if he wasn’t somehow touching him. 

His mouth was hot against Gerard’s ear. “Can we pretend that we’re in love tonight?”

Gerard nodded shortly, and they stumbled together, unable to keep their hands off one another. Frank licked inside of Gerard’s mouth as they hurriedly took off each other’s clothes. 

Frank fucked Gerard slow and steady. For a while all that was heard in the room was moans and the sound of skin smacking. It was over too soon. 

They laid together for a few short minutes before Gerard sat up and began getting dressed. Once he was, he sat at the edge of the bed and fixed his hair. Before he left the room, he paused. “You looked like you fell in love tonight,” he spoke softly. 

Frank was quiet as his body draped against the scratchy sheets of the bed. His heart was in his stomach, and the feeling of being small, and wanting for his own lungs to strangle themselves was back full force. 

But his voice was steady when he said, “I didn’t mean to fall in love tonight.”

Gerard tensed. He turned around and opened his mouth, as if he was going to say something. Instead he faced the door once again, and walked out without another word. 

Frank closed his eyes as soon as he left. The room had become completely unbearable now that it was empty. He allowed for his limbs to curl up instinctively, and hated himself as a few tears leaked out, tinging the pillowcase underneath him with salt. 

  
“I’m sorry that I fell in love tonight.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This is the product of being sad at 2am and listening to Halsey non-stop. I'm so sorry. But! Comments and Kudos are very much appreciated. Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
